


Trust in Me

by fxvixen



Series: Intentions [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, orpheus au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 20:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16125755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/pseuds/fxvixen
Summary: “I have to go get Oikawa back,” Iwaizumi says, bracing his shoulders against their looks. He looks so determined and set on this plan that Matsukawa almost asks when they’re leaving but then he remembers thatOikawa is dead.“Excuse me?” Hanamaki scowls, stepping forward. “That’s not how deathworks,Iwaizumi.”Iwaizumi glares back at him, crossing his arms. “That’s not how death usually works, but I have a plan.”ORWe’ve all heard the story of the Demon King and his knight. We’ve heard of their friendship and of their sacrifice. We’ve heard of their anguish.But what happens next?(This isnotcompliant with FHQ. I've never played or seen a walkthrough.)(You do not necessarily have to read the prequel to this. More in notes.)





	1. It Started Out as a Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> **HEY HEY HEY PLEASE READ**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> so…. you don’t _have_ to read Secure but there will be little things that you won’t understand if you don’t. up to you though, you can get by without them probably. Really the most major thing is just that Matsukawa isn’t an asshole, he’s just upset with something Yahaba did during the battle. 
> 
> warnings: the tiniest, briefest mention of suicide in the second paragraph, and mentions of bodies/their smell, nothing too graphic though

The walls of the castle lay untouched, pristine, completely at odds with the anguish hidden away inside.

The door to the king’s bedroom stands open in front of Matsukawa and Hanamaki, revealing high ceilings and curtains billowing inside open windows. There’s no fire in the hearth but that’s to be expected this late in the summer.

On the walk up here from his and Hanamaki’s room, Matsukawa had pictured opening the door to Iwaizumi throwing things around, destroying everything that reminded him of Oikawa. He’d pictured Iwaizumi crying in earnest for the first time in his life. He pictured Iwaizumi just sitting there eerily still, staring into space or at a portrait of Oikawa. Matsukawa had even prepared himself for the sight of Iwaizumi trying to take his own life.

What he hadn’t pictured, or even considered _at all_ was the sight of Iwaizumi calmly walking around the room and appearing to be packing the essentials for a long journey.

Matsukawa can’t quite wrap his head around it and if Hanamaki’s stunned silence next to him is anything to go by, neither can he. They’d just gotten through dealing with their own wounds from the battle, physical and emotional, and had come to check on Iwaizumi, who had to be more emotionally broken than any of them.

Only to find Iwaizumi acting like everything is fine-and-dandy, he just really has business elsewhere.

“Iwaizumi?” Matsukawa surprises himself by saying it. He’s just… trying to put together why Iwaizumi is checking things off of a list, like he’s following through with a plan put together from a while ago. As if he’s headed off on some vacation that he’d just _forgotten_ to mention.

Iwaizumi looks up at them at the sound of his name. “Oh good, you’re here.” His voice is solid, not even the whisper of a waver. “I need to talk with you two before I leave.” He marks off another item and places the list in his bag as well.

“You’re _leaving? Now?_ ” Hanamaki’s voice cracks but Matsukawa’s brain is otherwise occupied with trying to understand anything about this situation. “ _Why?_ ”

“I have to go get Oikawa back,” Iwaizumi says, bracing his shoulders against their looks. He looks so determined and set on this plan that Matsukawa almost asks when they’re leaving but then he remembers that _Oikawa is dead._

Matsukawa blinks and frowns at him.

“Excuse me?” Hanamaki scowls, stepping forward. “That’s not how death _works_ , Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi glares back at him, crossing his arms. “That’s not how death _usually_ works, but I have a plan.”

“Oh, a plan! You have a plan, do you? Well why didn’t I think of that?” Hanamaki looks back at Matsukawa exaggerating a look. “If he’s got _plan_ then, well, who am I to stop him?”

Iwaizumi’s only response is to stare them down.

Some of the dots are starting to connect in Matsukawa’s brain. “You–” He doesn’t really want to say it. “You had a plan?” The words feel like they echo around the large room. “You had- _have_ a plan for…. Oikawa being….dead?” The words taste like dirt in his mouth.

Iwaizumi looks away.

“Are you telling me that you were assuming he’d have to die?” Hanamaki’s voice is deathly quiet, but his next question rings with anger. “Are you actually telling me that you were _expecting_ it?” He steps toward Iwaizumi, shaking with emotion, and Matsukawa puts a hand on his shoulder to try to… he doesn’t really know, but to keep Hanamaki from doing something stupid. “You were expecting to have to actually _kill_ him _yourself?_ ”

Iwaizumi flinches and his eyes flash back to them. “No.” He looks away again quickly. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. But I also knew it was a… likely possibility.”

“I thought it was just a last resort,” Matsukawa says, really trying to understand while also trying to push away the dirty feeling that he’d been lied to. “But you’re telling us that... you knew all along that you’d probably have to do it.”

He and Hanamaki can’t be standing more than a couple meters from Iwaizumi, but somehow, now, the distance feels ten times that much.

“Yes.”

Iwaizumi says it softly, resigned, and he looks towards a small familiar-looking trinket sitting on one of the tables. Matsukawa recognizes it; a small misshapen piece of wood that Oikawa had once thrust in their faces, insisting that it looked as pointy and angry as Iwaizumi. He’d laughed gleefully and then run off as quickly as he’d appeared, Iwaizumi stalking behind.

At the time, Matsukawa had been bemused, then looked at Hanamaki, amused. They’d laughed and teased the two of them about it several times before letting it slip their minds. Looking at the trinket now, the wood looks smooth and worn, as if from the effect of fingers rubbing over it time and time again.

“I knew,” Iwaizumi says, soft and this time with the faintest hint of mourning.

The sound of it brings Matsukawa back to the hill, to just after the fighting had been brought to an end–or… so he’d thought anyway. The image of Iwaizumi on his knees, cradling Oikawa’s lifeless body, will probably be something he’ll never be able to unsee. His wails of anguish, something he can never unhear.

“So you lied.” Hanamaki responds in a voice gone soft, all bite gone. He’s hurt, Matsukawa knows, but he also hears the subtle tone in Iwaizumi’s voice. He can see the pain that Iwaizumi must have been in, to be the only one to know, to know that he’d have to kill the love of his life.

Iwaizumi tenses briefly but then straightens once more. “I thought the best chance of saving him was to give everyone as much hope as possible. If I had shown even the tiniest doubt, everyone would have fed off it and we would have lost the small chance we had. So I decided to make it seem less likely that I would have to kill him than it was. I don’t regret it. I’d make the same decision.”  

The set of his shoulders is a familiar one to the two of them. Iwaizumi has set himself against them, unyielding, awaiting their judgement.

Only this time, there’s no challenging eyes standing next to him. There’s no one else on his side. He is standing alone, against his closest friends, daring them to push back. Matsukawa’s eyes widen and his heart breaks again, leaving him wondering how many more times that can happen today before it breaks.

Hanamaki takes another step forward and this time Matsukawa doesn’t try to stop him.

“Idiot,” he says, and Iwaizumi stiffens. “We just wish you’d trusted us.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes shoot between them.

As if they would ever stand against him on something as important as this.

Matsukawa steps forward as well and swipes at Iwaizumi in the familiar way that makes it seem like he’s going to give Iwaizumi a good scrub on the head. Iwaizumi dodges with practiced ease and relaxes slowly, rolling his shoulders. He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, well.”

Hanamaki punches his arm. It’s probably harder than necessary if the look Iwaizumi gives him is anything to go by.

Scrubbing his arm, Iwaizumi speaks again. “Anyway, I needed to talk to you before I left.”

Matsukawa doesn’t like where this is headed so he cuts in. “I assume it was to say, ‘Here’s what you need to pack.’”

“What? No, it’s about while I’m gone.”

They stare at Iwaizumi silently. _This_ is where they have to stand against him.

“Except, we don’t need to know any of that, since we’ll be coming with you.”

Matsukawa is grateful that he and Hanamaki seem to always be on the same page. He sweeps a gaze over Iwaizumi’s things, trying to gage what he’ll need to grab in a hurry if Iwaizumi makes a run for it.

“You’re _not_ coming with me,” Iwaizumi growls, clenching his fists.

“You’re bringing someone back from the dead and you don’t think you’ll need back-up?” Matsukawa takes a step forward to stand by Hanamaki. He’s always liked it when they’re on even ground; it makes them a better team.

“No, I think you’ll be needed more here.” Noticing Matsukawa’s glance maybe, Iwaizumi shoves the rest of the things on his bed into his bag and shuts it.

“ _Puh-lease,_ Iwaizumi.” Hanamaki puts a hand on his hip. “You’re leaving Yahaba in charge right?” Matsukawa fights the flinch at Yahaba’s name. “Last time you and Oikawa did that, he practically forgot we were here. He works better with the people his age or younger. He’s never worked well with Issei and I because we’ve always been too close to you and Oikawa. Yahaba just pushes us off to the side.”

Iwaizumi frowns, opening his mouth up to refuse again most likely.

“Plus,” Matsukawa continues before he can regroup, “ _backup_. You’ll need it. We’ve got it. We’re going. Now, what do we need to bring?”

Iwaizumiglares at both of them and crosses his arms. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow, because when has that ever worked against them.

“You know we’ll only follow you if you try to go alone.” Hanamaki smirks, knowing he’s close to breaking. Matsukawa nods along and imitates a grave expression.

Iwaizumi sighs.

 

* * *

 

A short while later, Hanamaki and Matsukawa join Iwaizumi in the courtyard where he’s speaking with Yahaba and Kunimi. They’re each carrying a bag and prepared to rough it since Iwaizumi refuses to tell them where they’re actually going. Just because he’s agreed to let them come doesn’t mean he’s suddenly become _reasonable._

People are still coming in and out of the gates of the castle wall, bringing bodies of soldiers who were lost in the forest during the battle. They can smell the piles of perished demons burning outside the castle wall.

Yahaba is talking as they walk up.

“ _That’s_ what you want me to say? That’s barely less than you’ve told me!” Yahaba throws his hands in the air, something he’s started to do instead of scrubbing his hands through his hair.

Matsukawa wishes he _would_ scrub his hair. It’d give him immense pleasure to be able to make fun of something about Yahaba’s appearance on his way closer.

Iwaizumi has no such reservations and runs a hand through his unaffected hair. “I know but-- I really can’t tell you anything, it’d be too dangerous. I don’t want our kingdom, or any others for that matter, to think we’re suddenly this weakened. They can’t think that we’re anything but in mourning.”

“Then don’t go on a secret quest shrouded in mystery!! Stay here and keep the kingdom as strengthened as it should be!” Yahaba looks imploringly at Iwaizumi for direction, but Iwaizumi’s face is hard. He’s not going to give on this.

Kunimi just looks tired and confused, a step up from his usual look of tired.

Iwaizumi sees them and turns. “Good, let’s grab our swords and head out.”

“That’s it?” Yahaba looks furious. “And you’re taking _them_?”

“Yes,” is Iwaizumi’s only answer, walking away.

Yahaba pushes between Hanamaki and Matsukawa to catch up to him, and Matsukawa has to keep from tripping him somehow. Hanamaki gives him a look that clearly says, _Thank you for not tripping him._ Matsukawa grunts in response.

Kunimi sighs and walks in the other direction, toward the families trying to identify the bodies. Also following Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa have no choice but to listen to Yahaba continue to argue.

“You trust them and not me with what you’re doing??” Yahaba sounds outraged, as if _he’s_ been Iwaizumi’s best friend his whole life and not the two of them and the person they’re going to rescue.

Matsukawa can’t help himself. “Yeah, how old are you again?”

Hanamaki and Iwaizumi both give him dirty looks that are also tinged with the anger they feel at Yahaba’s words.

“Yes, Yahaba. I trust them more than you.” They enter the armoury, and Yahaba must realize his mistake, because he backtracks. He has to speak a little louder because of the clanking coming from next door.

“I meant, why can’t I know then? If I’m to be in charge while you’re gone, then how am I supposed to know what to say when people coming looking? How am I to know what you’re doing or when you’ll be back?”

Matsukawa groans at his words.

Yahaba slips him a glare, but looks back to Iwaizumi for his response. Iwaizumi belts his sword around his waist, and speaks as if to a child, “You tell them I’m mourning. I’m not ready to see anyone yet. Anyone who really cares will understand. Tell them you don’t know when I’ll be available but most likely not for a while. As for what I’m doing, the less you know, the better.”

His own belt on, Matsukawa leans against the wall, checking over Hanamaki and trying to convince himself not to shove every single piece of armour at him. Iwaizumi isn’t grabbing any so they’re probably in for a long journey where it’ll be impractical to carry around anyway.

“But when will you be back?”

Hitting his head against the wall he’s leaning against Matsukawa groans again.

Yahaba rounds on him. “Do you have something you want to say?”

“Yeah, your pants are untied.”

Yahaba turns red, but refuses to look. “No, they aren’t.”

“Damn.”

Hanamaki steps closer to jab him hard in the side. “Knock it off.”

Rubbing his side, Matsukawa stands up straight. “I’m groaning because our fearless leader isn’t understanding that what Yahaba’s really trying to say is that he’s worried. He doesn’t know when we’ll be back and he wants to know what’s going on because he’s worried about things that might come up. Clearly.”

He leans back against the wall, having said his piece and wanting to be done with it.

Yahaba glares. He stops and looks when Iwaizumi places a hand on his shoulder.

“Yahaba, you led well last time Oikawa and I were gone. You’ll do fine. If we need to get in contact, I’ll send a message. We shouldn’t be gone more than a couple months.” With that, Iwaizumi steps back out of the armory.

Yahaba, on the other hand, is frozen for a moment, eyes wide. Then he takes off after Iwaizumi once more. “A couple _months?_ ”

Matsukawa’s eyes follow him out. “We’re never going to get rid of him are we?” He looks back to see Hanamaki sliding several sheathed knives of varying size into his bag. “I’m going to end up helping you carry those aren’t I?”

Hanamaki gives him a quick grin and leads the way out of the armory. Matsukawa follows.

“Why are you being a dick to Yahaba?” Hanamaki asks. Iwaizumi’s paused for them at the gate, still talking with Yahaba. “Didn’t you yourself admit you’re not really mad at him?”

“Did I? Well, I lied. I’m mad at him.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Thanks, you too.”

“...No.”

Yahaba has quieted, just looking at Iwaizumi and them with concern.

“Well, good luck. With whatever you’re doing.” He glances over them and then abruptly turns back and heads towards the keep.

“Good riddance,” Matsukawa mutters.

“Give him a break.”

Matsukawa looks at Iwaizumi, surprised.

He’s frowning, tense lines across his face. When he looks up at Matsukawa, his eyes are filled with pain.

“You weren’t the only one who was afraid.”

With that, he turns and leaves.

Matsukawa watches him walk off, reminded of the immense pain that Iwaizumi must be hiding. He looks at Hanamaki, wanting reassurance.

Hanamaki is looking after him as well, his own pain reflected on his face. He looks to Matsukawa. They hold each other’s gaze for a long moment; Matsukawa wants to hug him tight.

Together they break the gaze and head out after their friend.

 

* * *

 

The first bit of their journey is horrible. They have to wade through the bodies of demons on the forest path not yet fetched for burning. Matsukawa and Hanamaki grimace at the sight of it but trudge through. Iwaizumi looks a little pale at the sight of so many bodies, not having been in the forest area yet to see the ruin of it.

Eventually, though, they make it out of the battleground and take the road heading west toward the town of Nekoma. Iwaizumi’s been walking ahead of them, more out of habit, Matsukawa thinks, than because he’s leading. Hanamaki steps up next to him.

“Soooo, are we allowed to know where we’re headed now?”

Iwaizumi grunts. “We’re stopping in Nekoma for the night.”

“Not yet, huh. Why all the secrecy?” Hanamaki tilts his head at him.

Matsukawa steps up on the other side of Iwaizumi and he glances at him.

“I…” He looks between them, then takes a deep breath. “It’s got nothing to do with not wanting to tell you and everything to do with me being paranoid.”

“So nothing new then.” Matsukawa smiles at him, poking gentle fun.

Iwaizumi’s face softens from the tense lines it’s been in all day. “Yeah. I’m terrified that if I say it out loud to you guys, you’ll say something like ‘You’re crazy,’ and I’ll have to actually come to terms with the fact that I k–” He chokes, clears his throat. “Well, um. Anyway.”

Hanamaki suddenly starts giggling. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa look at him.

“That’s–” Giggle. “Absolutely terrifying.” Hanamaki’s eyes are wide.

Iwaizumi nods slowly as Hanamaki’s giggling trails off. “Did you ever get that checked out?”

“The giggling when horrified? I asked about it. Yuda said I was fine, so.”

“It’s okay, it’s cute.” Matsukawa sticks his head out to make sure Hanamaki can see his sappy smile from across Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi looks at him incredulously. “It makes every situation more terrifying.”

“Yeah?” Hanamaki comes back. “So does your face, you don’t see me complaining.”

“You’ve literally complained about my face multiple times.”

“You frown a _lot!_ ”

Matsukawa smiles, glad their journey doesn’t feel so dark anymore.

They bicker most of the way to Nekoma, walking all next to each other and move to single file when they come across someone heading the other direction. They do a pretty good job of ignoring the gaping hole next to Iwaizumi.

 

* * *

  

Matsukawa can’t remember the last time he’d been to Nekoma, but it had to have been a while ago because he doesn’t recognize a thing. He does however recognize the smell of food and spies a stand on the other side of the street. “Hey, I’m gonna grab some of that. You guys want any?”

“Duh.”

Iwaizumi considers it, nods. “You grab food from there and Hanamaki and I will try to get rooms in this place without using the royal seal thingy.” He jerks his thumb at the small inn behind him.

“Thingy, nice.” Hanamaki nudges him.

Iwaizumi shoves him back. “Shut up, already. I don’t have to be uptight and proper about it unless I’m planning on using it, which I’m not.”

Matsukawa heads across to get the food, stomach growling. The smell only gets stronger as he gets closer to the boiling pot of food, and he sees four or five smaller pots resting on a bench further in. He looks at the man running the stand and says, “Three of whatever is giving off that heavenly smell.”

The man springs from his stool, and Matsukawa can see now that he’s easily as tall as him if not taller. “Coming right up, sir!” He turns his head to the side. “Yaku-san! Customer!”

“I heard him,” says a disembodied voice. “Get him his food.”

“Yes!”

The man starts dishing out of the big bowl into smaller bowls. A short man with red-brown hair pops up seemingly from nowhere and tells him his total.

“Can I take the bowls and bring them back later?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. That’s what most people do. Don’t let the innkeeper see you in there with bowls from my stand instead of his tavern, but otherwise just bring them back.” He hands him his change.

The tall man hands him his three bowls of soup and Matsukawa realizes he hasn’t thought this through.

“Yaku-san doesn’t let me help him with the money anymore after I accidently lost him a bunch of money.” The tall man honestly pouts here, as if it’s obvious that Matsukawa will feel bad for him.

Matsukawa tucks one bowl in his elbow and then carries one in each hand. “I don’t blame him,” he says as he walks away. He hears an indignant whine and a laugh as he walks away.

Luckily, there’s someone else talking to the innkeeper and Hanamaki is waiting for him, so he slides right by without being noticed. Hanamaki takes one of the bowls and starts slurping it down while they head to their room.

“Hey,” Matsukawa frowns at him. “Don’t eat that in front of me when I’m clearly unable to eat.” He holds up the two remaining bowls to emphasize the point.

Hanamaki grins. “Says who?” He stops in the middle of the hallway and Matsukawa reflexively stops as well. Hanamaki holds up a bit of chicken pulled from the mash.

Gloriously, Matsukawa takes it into his mouth and groans when it tastes just as awesome as it smells. “You’re the best,” he says, swallowing.

“Obviously.”

They join Iwaizumi in their room, and Matsukawa hands him his bowl. He takes it absently, staring at the bed.

Immediately stuffing his face, Matsukawa looks him over. “What’s up?”

Iwaizumi stares at the bed a moment more before looking at him. “I… I don’t know. Oik– We... usually take the bed but he’s not here to whine about it.”

Understanding, Matsukawa also looks at the bed. Back when they were merely knights, not His Highness and his Royal Guard, it became second nature to only book one room for the four of them. Iwaizumi and Oikawa would take the bed after no shortage of whining and “I’m the Prince!”s from Oikawa, followed by teasing and heckling from at least two, if not all three, of his companions.

But he’s gone.

Ignoring the sudden and giant _hole in his chest_ , Matsukawa sets his bag down and flops on the bed without spilling a drop of his mash. “Dibs.”

“Hell yeah!” Hanamaki flops on top of him sideways, also without spilling a drop.

They grin up at Iwaizumi. He looks extremely lost and innocent, and Matsukawa can appreciate that it’s a good look for him, but it’s also completely out of the norm. “Look, we’re… we’re going to fetch him, right?”

“Yes.” Some of that usual stubbornness enters his eyes.

“Then he can take the bed back when he gets back, but I called dibs.” Matsukawa makes a shooing motion.

Hanamaki copies his hand movement.

Iwaizumi stares at them. Slowly, he gives them a grateful smile and tucks into his food. Hanamaki and Matsukawa follow his lead.

After eating, they place the bowls by the door and settle down to sleep, Matsukawa and Hanamaki curled together on the bed and Iwaizumi on the floor beside them.  


	2. Which then Grew into a Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “As usual, didn’t think it through, just trusted whatever Oikawa said.”
> 
> “Eh, we’ve come out of tighter scraps than this.”
> 
> “We actually knew what was going on in those situations.”
> 
> “True.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying my best with the PTSD, it’s one of the top things I’m nervous about
> 
> me: *struggles with what food to use*  
> me: *remembers that this is a made up world and i can have them eat whatever i want*  
> me: nice
> 
> along those same lines, i’ve loosely decided that the only times when people use honorifics are to their superior officers, to their bosses, and to their teachers. I hope that’s not too culturally insensitive? mostly i’m afraid i won’t remember otherwise

Hanamaki is woken from his nightmare by his own screams. He bolts up from the bed, heaving breaths and shaking. Matsukawa is stirring next to him and Iwaizumi is sitting across the room with a map laid out in front of him. He looks up when Hanamaki wakes.

It’s still night but there’s a grey tint to the room, as if the sun is thinking about coming up soon. Matsukawa sits up and puts his arm around his waist gently, so not to spook him. His eyes are heavily lidded, not fully awake, and he buries his face in Hanamaki’s neck.

Iwaizumi’s face is dark. “You’ve been tossing and turning for a while, but I thought you probably needed the sleep more than you needed to escape the nightmares.”

“It’s fine.” Hanamaki turns his hand and plants his face in Matsukawa’s hair, taking a deep breath.

Matsukawa’s voice drifts out from his shoulder.

“If these are the kind of dreams you people have on the bed, I want my spot on the floor back.”

Iwaizumi smiles a little. “Too late, you called dibs.”

After a moment buried in comfort, Hanamaki decides it’s probably best to return to the real world, and turns to look at Iwaizumi again. Matsukawa stays where he is.

“How long have you been up?”

Iwaizumi grimaces. “I never really went to sleep. Tried it, didn’t agree with me.”

Hanamaki frowns. “We’re not the only ones who need it.” Matsukawa raises his head so just his mouth and chin are on Hanamaki’s shoulder, to give Iwaizumi what Hanamaki assumes is _a look._

Iwaizumi sighs, looking back down at his map. “I know.”

Hanamaki grabs Matsukawa’s hand where he’s pressed it against his arm. “What are you looking at there, then?”

Making a frustrated noise, Iwaizumi gestures sharply at the map. “I’m trying to figure out how we got to the place we’re headed to the first time, but Oikawa was in charge of the map when we were searching and–as usual–he was being a shit so I don’t know where we need to go.”

Hanamaki mulls this over.

Matsukawa snorts in his shoulder and mutters, “As usual, didn’t think it through, just trusted whatever Oikawa said.”

“Eh, we’ve come out of tighter scraps than this.”

“We actually knew what was going on in those situations.”

“True.”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes at their quiet back-and-forth.

Louder, Hanamaki says, “So, we’ll just ask someone.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen, like the idea literally never occurred to him. He’s speechless for a minute, expression fighting between a scowl and outright surprise.

“But–” he sputters, “no one can know we’re doing this. We can’t go around telling people what we’re doing!”

Matsukawa emerges, exasperation in his voice. “Listen, we get that you’re afraid this isn’t gonna work and you don’t want anyone to try to stop you and yadda yadda but you gotta chill dude. We’re not going to try to stop you, we’re your best friends. A random person in Nekoma that we ask isn’t going to try to stop you from going to a person? Place? Fucking hell Iwaizumi, _we_ don’t even know shit. They don’t know you’re trying to rise someone from the dead so we’ll just ask and be on our way.”

With that, he buries his face back in Hanamaki’s shoulder.

“Sounds like that’s what we’re doing.” Hanamaki turns to put his nose back in Matsukawa’s hair.

Iwaizumi lets out a huge aggrieved sigh that one can only get from years spent putting up with the absolute bullshit that is your best friend thinking they’re being clever, when in actuality they’re just going to land face first in a pile of the castle’s waste.

“If we’re going to ask someone,” Iwaizumi sounds resigned to the idea but not against it at least, “we should probably wait until it’s a more reasonable hour.”

“Yeah, now that we’ve solved this, get some sleep yourself.” Hanamaki looks at him and tilts his head up. He attempts to copy the looking-down-your-pout of disappointment that Oikawa would do to get Iwaizumi to do what he wants.

It must be similar at least because it gets Iwaizumi to laugh, if sadly. “Yeah, okay.”

“It worked?” Hanamaki cannot actually believe it.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’m just tired.”

“No, I was just afraid that anything I did like Oikawa would need to change immediately.”

“Fuck off.”

 

* * *

 

They wake up later in the morning similarly to how they woke before, though Hanamaki doesn’t scream this time, just grumbles about dreams and how they need to fuck off. Matsukawa and Iwaizumi murmur their agreement. The sounds coming from outside the inn aren’t unlike the ones he would usually hear in the castle, just dulled.

There’s shouting, but not as much. There’s the clank of a smith, but further away. There’s the barking of a dog, but only one.

They gather their stuff without words, familiar with how to pack around each other.

It’s when they’re leaving the room that Hanamaki spots the bowls they’d left by the door the night before and is struck with an idea. Picking them up, he considers.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing their attention in the hallway. “We could ask the guy at the stall. Kill two birds with one stone?”

Matsukawa, seeing Hanamaki waving the bowls, says, “Oh fuck, don’t let the innkeeper see those.”

“What? Why?”

“Apparently he doesn’t like the competition.”

Hanamaki frowns, the innkeeper had seemed nice when they’d spoken to him yesterday, but then you never knew with people who wore their hair in a mohawk. Iwaizumi gives Matsukawa a doubtful look as well.

Matsukawa just shrugs.

Hanamaki hides the bowls under his arm and heads outside with Matsukawa while Iwaizumi provides a distraction and tells the innkeeper they won’t be staying another night.

Well… they all hope they won’t be staying another night.

They head across to the stand where Matsukawa had gotten food the previous night. The man there takes the bowls from them as they look at the food he has this morning.

Hanamaki decides on a egg mix with cheese and rice, and Matsukawa gets a huge bowl of chopped fried potatoes.

They hear quiet footsteps on the dirt street and turn to see Iwaizumi approaching. He surveys the food set out and gestures at one of the bananas hanging from the wood of the stand. “That will be fine.”

He hands over some coin and takes the banana, but doesn’t eat it. Hanamaki shoves more of his eggs into his mouth and waits for Iwaizumi to fortify himself. Matsukawa takes a smaller bite and does the same.

Iwaizumi glares at the man in the stand long enough that stand owner puts his hands on his hips and glares back. “Yes?”

Iwaizumi’s lips turn down from their flat line. “Do you happen to know where I might find someone who goes by Kozume Kenma?”

“ _Kenma-san!_ ” A tall, tall man pops up from where he must have been lying down on the ground behind the stand. He’s so tall that he had to have been lying down or they’d have still seen the top of his head.

The shorter man elbows him in the side and, if the yelp is anything to go by, it wasn’t gentle. “Lev! Learn to think before you speak!”

“Yaku-san….” This Lev person sounds extremely wounded, more so than is possible by a simple elbow to the side. Hanamaki thinks he sounds like he’d be a lot of fun if they had the time to spare.

The Yaku guy glares at them twice as hard as he had at Lev. “What do you want with Kenma?”

Only those who know him as well as Matsukawa and Hanamaki do would be able to see the hope return to the glare on Iwaizumi’s face. “I have to find him.”

Interrupting and getting in Yaku’s face, Lev whines again. “Whyyyyy Yaku-saaaan.”

“Yeah, I got that.” He absentmindedly shoves Lev out of his space, completely ignoring him, though he does have to use two hands to do it. “Why? What do you want?”

Lev pouts and sits down in the back of the stand, so he can still see what’s happening.

Iwaizumi grits his teeth. “We’re… acquaintances– sort of. He told me to come back when I’d done what he said. I don’t remember how we got to his house.”

Yaku looks the three of them over. Hanamaki smiles wide and dopey. Matsukawa takes another bite of his potatoes.

“You say, ‘we’ went to his house, but then you say, ‘he told _me_ to come back.’”

None of them are able hold back their guilty shifting. Hanamaki spills some of the rice down his front and he looks at Matsukawa in dismay.

Iwaizumi confirms this slowly. “That is what I said.”

Nodding, Yaku continues, “I suppose it makes sense.”

Hanamaki heavily disagrees.

“Lev.”

Lev shoots up from the ground. “Yes, Yaku-san!” He even salutes Yaku.

Hanamaki grins. _Adorable._ He checks and Matsukawa’s eyes are sparkling with mirth as well.

“Take these guys to Kenma.” Yaku jabs a thumb at them even as he turns away, unconcerned now that he’s cast judgement. Iwaizumi visibly relaxes and takes a step back.

“Okay!” Lev hops and slides across the counter of the stand, barely missing hitting his head on the overhang. “Let’s go!”

He starts off down the road the same direction that they came from, Iwaizumi following closely behind. Hanamaki shoves down the rest of his eggs and sets the bowl on the counter. Matsukawa’s still got several bites left, so he shoves it all in his mouth at once. He sets his bowl down too, cheeks stuffed, and they both trot to catch up to the tall man’s quick pace.

Matsukawa’s still chewing the last of his potatoes when they reach the edge of town and head into the trees. There’s no path and Hanamaki has to assume that Lev knows where he’s going and hope that it’s not some kind of trap. The guy looks a little too innocent and guileless for that sort of thing though.

“My name is Lev! What are your names?” He asks, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Iwaizumi.”

“Matsukawa.”

“Hanamaki.” The second his name is out of his mouth, Hanamki realizes they sounded much more like they were doing a roll call than introducing themselves. That’s what happens when you spend your whole life training to be the Prince’s Guard.

Traveling through the trees is uneventful, notwithstanding the couple of times Matsukawa tries to hit Hanamaki with branches previously held back, face as straight as ever. Hanamaki gets him back by attempting to trip him into a small creek they step over.

Iwaizumi walks in front next to Lev, who does not shut up once the entire walk. He talks about how he’s an expert at finding the best spices and herbs for their foods and Yaku-san has praised him many times for it! Yaku-san is apparently very strict about what he uses and has no problem with rapping Lev over the head with a large spoon or kicking his shins or elbowing him in various places.

At one point, Matsukawa frowns at them and Hanamaki thinks he might butt in, but then Iwaizumi surprises them both by asking Lev, “How do you know how to find the best spices?”

This question has two effects.

One, Hanamaki sees the look Iwaizumi has when he asks the question and it’s the same dumbass look he has when Oikawa talks about the stars and how they move in the sky. It’s the same look he gives when Kyoutani starts talking about training hunting dogs, or when Kindaichi talks about the past tournaments they’ve held.

Two, it causes the first break in Lev's talking since they left Nekoma.

It’s not a long break, but just long enough for them to notice.

Lev stops and stands tall. He peers into the trees in all directions, searching. Hanamaki looks around too, on edge. _Do the trees look more foreboding suddenly?_

Finding nothing, Lev leans down to Iwaizumi conspiratorially. “You have to promise not to tell.” He’s not even bothering to whisper; Hanamaki rolls his eyes.

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow and nods.

“No! You have to mean it!” Lev’s voice raises, and Matsukawa snorts incredulously. “You can’t tell anyone!”

Fighting a smile, Iwaizumi says, “I won’t. Promise.”

Beaming, Lev walks again and Hanamaki is convinced that he must be the worst secret-keeper he knows–worse than Kindaichi even.

“Kenma-san taught me!” Lev gestures excitedly with his whole arms. They’re so long it looks ridiculous. “He didn’t want to, but I really wanted to impress Yaku-san. And even though Kenma-san shuts himself away in the forest, he never says no to helping people when they really need it.” Lev’s eyes brighten considerably. “So I just convinced him that I really needed the help!”

Hanamaki finds himself smiling at Lev’s obvious pleasure.

A while later, Hanamaki is just about to ask if they’re there yet, when he catches sight of the outline of a small house through the trees. Early afternoon sunlight lights up half of the house and makes it look mysterious.

“We’re here!” Lev breaks into a jog to run up to the house. They follow at a regular pace while Lev bangs on the door. “Kenma-san! Kuroo! I’m here!” He says it like they should be expecting him, as if the group hadn’t convinced him to lead them here just this morning.

“Kuroo?” Matsukawa asks. Hanamaki frowns.

Iwaizumi grimaces but doesn’t say any more. Hanamaki fights down the rising irritation at not knowing what the hell is going on.

There’s no response so Lev bangs on it again. “ _Kenma-san!_ I brought a friend who’s asking about you!”

There’s a loud thump from inside the house. They wait.

The door is ripped open with a whoosh and a short man with a pinched face answers it. “What do you want, Lev.”

It takes a moment, but then the air from inside the house hits Hanamaki’s nose and it smells _heavily_ of sex. It’s then that he notices the man’s long hair is flung up in the kind of way that it might if their hair had been grabbed or rubbed roughly against some sheets. His clothes are rumpled and his face is probably flushed from more than irritation.

Hanamaki coughs to hide his laugh and looks at Matsukawa. He’s looking at the man with no small amount of amusement, and Iwaizumi is blushing through his frown. The man glares at him, not fooled by the cough, so Hanamaki grins back.

Innocent as Hanamaki expected, Lev doesn’t seem to notice anything. “Kenma-san! Why didn’t you answer the door the first time?”

Kenma glares. “Your stupidity never ceases to amaze.” Lev growl-yelps a “Hey!” but Kenma must actually look at the rest of them then because his face relaxes to impassive and he says, “Oh, Iwaizumi. I was wondering when you’d be back.”

Polite to a fault, Iwaizumi responds, “Sorry to intrude.”

“It’s alright, though forgive me if I won’t invite you in quite yet.” Kenma steps out onto the dirt ring around the doorway and closes the door most of the way. “Kuro needs a moment.”

“Why?” Lev’s confusion is evident in the tilt of his head and Hanamaki tries not to laugh again.

Kenma glares at him again. “Why are you still here? You did your job; they’re here. Get lost.”

“But Kenma-saaaa–”

“Lev.” Iwaizumi places a hand on his arm. “Thank you for helping us out. We can take it from here.”

Showing his teeth, Lev bounces. “You’re welcome Iwaizumi!” He heads back the way they came, happy as a clam.

They watch him disappear into the trees and Iwaizumi says to Kenma, “He just wants some recognition.”

Kenma huffs. “I know, but he doesn’t deserve praise for doing something anyone could have done.”

“Apparently not everyone.” Matsukawa raises his eyebrows. “We had to ask for help.”

Ignoring that, Kenma turns back to the door. “It should be fine now.”

The house seems bigger on the inside with only two rooms, the main room and what Hanamaki assumes is a bedroom as there are none that he can see when he walks in. On the far side of the room, there’s a desk with papers and books strewn all over it and some on the floor. Almost the entire back wall is filled with shelves of books. Closer to the front of the house, there’s a table and four chairs across from the cupboards and basin that must be a kitchen of sorts. There’s a stack of books on the table as well and a… is that a Latrones board?

Seated at the table is a man, head slumped sideways on his arms on the table top and a taunting grin on his face. Seeing who it is, he sits up a little. “Iwaizumi! Yo!”

Kenma slides around behind the man and pulls on his hair, forcing his head up and back. His clothes look crumpled, like maybe they’d been recently piled on the floor for an extended period of time.

Iwaizumi nods and takes a place at the table. “Kuroo, Kenma, good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Kuroo’s eyes trace closely over Hanamaki and Matsukawa as they join them in sitting.

Iwaizumi gestures at them. “This Hanamaki and Matsukawa. We grew up together.”

“Soldier stuff?” Iwaizumi nods, and Kuroo shakes his head. “Brutal. Wouldn’t catch me doing it. The name’s Kuroo.”

Kenma says, “People who know me call me Kenma.”

“Nice to meet you,” they chorus, long used to being introduced together.

Kuroo leans back into Kenma’s hands, apparently done with his assessment. “If the fun one isn’t with you, then I guess there’s only one reason you’re here.”

Iwaizumi glares, but says nothing.

“I’m sorry dude, but hey! At least there’s still a chance to get him back.”

“I _will_ get him back.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kuroo grins lazily, and Hanamaki wants to smash his face a little for acting so relaxed when they’re all sitting on the edge of their chairs. “Ow! Kenma!!”

Kenma’s got his fingers well tangled into Kuroo’s hair and he’s pulling enough that Hanamaki can see the muscles stretch in his neck. “Stop being an asshole.”

Kuroo pouts up at Kenma. “But it–”

Kenma tugs roughly. “There’re still grieving even if there’s hope, leave them alone.”

Kenma lets go and Kuroo slumps forward, but he looks over them again. Hanamaki doesn’t bother to hide the immediate dislike that’s sure to be in the scrunch of his nose. Matsukawa’s face appears impassive and Hanamaki wonders if Kuroo’ll catch the slight narrowing of his eyes.

“Kenma.” Iwaizumi’s voice is meant to set them on track, but Hanamaki can clearly hear the plea in it.

“Yes. I’ll grab my notes.” He steps away and releases Kuroo’s hair, now even worse than when they’d walked in.

“Kenmaaaa, if you’re gonna mess it up, at least fix it.” Kuroo drags his hands through his hair, tugging forcefully downward. His efforts accomplish nothing.

“Sooooo, is this the part where we find out what’s going on?” Hanamaki faces his head toward the desk where Kenma’s stopped, but his eyes watch Kuroo’s futile struggles.

Across the dim room, Kenma’s eyes flash when he looks up. “You don’t know yet?”

Iwaizumi shuffles in his chair. “I haven’t told them, no.”

Kenma finds what he’s looking for and comes back to the table with several pages of notes, a potted plant and his face turned down in a frown. “You asked them to go without telling them the risks?”

“ _No._ ” Iwaizumi glares at him. “I didn’t want them to come at all.”

Kenma looks at them, still frowning.

“Ah, see we know this guy.” Hanamaki gives Kenma a look that he hopes says, _Look at this fool._ “And we know that he’s going to get himself into more trouble than he can handle, so we did our usual ‘stubborn friend who cares about you’ bit and decided to come along.”

Matsukawa gives Iwaizumi a pitying look. “He’s bound to get hurt.”

Iwaizumi growls.

Hanamaki says, “Or worse, he could hurt someone else.”

Standing, Iwaizumi grabs Hanamaki by the collar.

Matsukawa’s eyes are wide and grave. “Or _worse.”_

Hanamaki grins at the prospect of getting decked. “He could eat a tomato.”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with your bullshit,” Iwaizumi snarls, and his hand shakes in Hanamaki’s shirt.

Abruptly, Hanamaki remembers where they are, what they’re supposedly doing, and the grin drops from his face. Shame mixes with the saliva in his mouth and he says, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Iwaizumi glares at Matsukawa, but he’s already echoing, “I’m sorry, too,” with pinched brows.

Seeing their consternation, Iwaizumi takes a deep breath and releases Hanamaki to sit back down. It’s quiet in the small house.

“Well,” Kenma breaks the silence quietly. His eyes flick between them but his face is set more thoughtful than frowning. “I’ll put it as simply as possible.” He sets down his notes and the plant in his hands with a _clunk_.

Now that the plant is the center of attention, Hanamaki sees that it’s actually only _part_ of a plant–a plant that looks very, very dead. It looks like the top half has been sawed off as well as several branches, and anything still attached looks dry and brittle.

Kenma gestures at the plant. “This _was_ a tree that’s native to the forests of the Fukurodani kingdom, the Owl Oak. It’s a tree that mixes well with many types of magic, but it’s extremely hard to grow here because of one thing.” He points at the base where several buds are peeking out of what appears to be solid trunk. “Reaper’s Stemsucker.”

Hanamaki nods along and is glad to see that Matsukawa looks bewildered as he is to where this is going.

“Reaper’s Stemsucker is a parasitic plant that burrows into the stem and leaves of plants and is completely undetectable until it’s too late to save the host plant.” Kenma points to one of the sawed off branches. “As you can see I’ve tried cutting off the infected areas to stop the progress of it without much success. I don’t know yet if that was just because it was all infected already or because it had some kind of defense mechanism where it sent more spores through the plant when I started sawing it off. Either way, the stemsucker infected the whole plant until it took all of its nutrients and it died. For some reason the Owl Oak seems to be particularly susceptible to catching the stemsucker and smaller plants are easier for it to kill.”

Now something is ringing in the back of Hanamaki’s brain, like he should be making a connection but hasn’t quite got there yet.

“I’m not sure how much you understand magic, as you don’t use it yourselves, but it’s all based on intent. The purer the want or the intention, the stronger the magic.” Hanamaki nods more firmly at that, he’s understood that much at least from what he’s heard from Oikawa. Kenma seems relieved that they understand easily. “Now.. there are people who have been using magic for a long time, that might be able to force out the magic, even if their thoughts aren’t completely set on what they’re trying to do. They might force themselves to use magic when they don’t think it’s a good idea to do so, and this creates a fracture between a person and their magic.

“In this case Oikawa is the Owl Oak, and his magic becomes the Reaper’s Stemsucker,” Kenma says. “The fracture festers and feeds off any doubt he feels toward using his magic; it turns against him and lashes out toward things and people that try to help him. If the fracture is little and weak, it can be mended and soothed. If it’s ignored, it will grow into a mass that lives on doubt and fear and encourages envy and hate. It becomes a demon.”

“And then Demon Law comes into play,” Matsukawa murmurs, eyes distant. Hanamaki feels similarly, the sound of the earth opening up echoing in his ears, darkness encroaching on his vision…

“Yes,” Kenma says. “The demons come to claim one of their own.”

Hanamaki can feel the memories of the battle rise up and try to choke him. Iwaizumi is pale and his gaze distant.

Kuroo interjects, “Well, luckily, there’s hope.”

Kenma clears his throat. “Yes, as I explained, the demon is something that grows inside the host because of the magic, and the demon is what they came to claim.”

“So…” Matsukawa ventures, “if Oikawa wasn’t attached to the demon, they wouldn’t have taken him?”

“Hypothetically,” Kenma confirms. “Unfortunately the only way I know to separate them is in death.”

Hanamaki’s eyes widen, looking at Iwaizumi. “That’s why you knew you probably had to kill him.”

Iwaizumi looks like he’s going to be sick and it strikes Hanamaki that maybe the reason he waited for Kenma to explain was because he didn’t think he could.

“But that doesn’t explain how death fixes everything. How did they separate when he died?” Matsukawa asks.

“Oh,” Kenma says and he looks contrite with his chin pointed down. “That part is a little tricky and a little bit of a secret.” He holds up a hand to stop their interruption. “I’ll tell you what I can.”

He purses his lips like he doesn’t think they’re going to believe what he’s saying but Hanamaki thinks it’s a little late for that. Nothing he’s said has been very believable.

Kenma says, “To separate the soul from the demon, you have to use an enchanted weapon.”

….okay, Hanamaki was wrong.

“That’s impossible,” Matsukawa beats him to the punch. “Enchanted weapons only exist in legends. You can’t put your magic on other objects to work later, even we know that.”

“I know someone who can make them,” Kenma says.

“ _Who?_ ” Hanamaki asks, not really bothering to hide his disbelief. Oikawa’s face pops up in his head.

_You can’t put magic_ **_into_ ** _things, stupid, you can only put it_ **_on_ ** _them. Everyone knows that._

Hanamaki almost wrinkles his nose at the memory of the hair flip that accompanies it.

“That’s the part I can’t tell you. The mage who can do it doesn’t want to be found. I only found him by mistake and he gives me enchanted objects in exchange for his privacy.” Kenma waves off their questions. “I’m not going to tell you. That part of it is over with anyway, you don’t need enchanted things for the next part.”

Hanamaki turns to ask how Iwaizumi could possibly use an enchanted weapon on Oikawa, to ask how he could be okay with doing that when he’d never even met the mage, to ask how he could do any of this. But across the table, Iwaizumi’s eyes are far away. He doesn’t even look present, and Hanamaki gets the answer to his questions. He’s not okay.

He’s desperate.

Matsukawa presses his leg against his under the table and Hanamaki looks at him. They share a look they’ve done time and again.

_We’ll help him. We’ll do whatever we have to._

Resolve set, Hanamaki asks, “What’s the next part?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, also huge ass shout out my beta and roommate rockin-llama, who puts up with long streams of questions and gives me validation without making me feel like she's saying it just for my sake

**Author's Note:**

> this is most likely going to be a long ride but I will reach the end of it!! I've put the tentative chapter count at 15, but it might slide one way or the other
> 
> please give me lots of Validation in the form of comments or talk to me on [tumblr.](http://fxvixen.tumblr.com/) I can't guarantee I won't be cryptic as fuck though lol, I want things to be a surprise


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